


Why?

by Kaggath



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2021-02-23 04:55:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23006080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaggath/pseuds/Kaggath





	Why?

_When I was here, I wanted to be there; when I was there, all I could think of was getting back into the jungle._

That’s what the movie said. It could have been in the novel as well, but Cinctus was more of a movie guy. He’d watched a lot of movies, and sometimes things stuck with him. He hadn’t understood that line, not really, until he’d ended up in the central base. It became a distinct familiarity dredged up from who knows how long ago, dormant in poignancy until he had the perspective to grasp it.

He filled a lot of the time in between with movies…until he brought the kid. And then from there it was only a matter of time until he’d dragged Cinctus out this place or that—he _did_ have to keep an eye on the little punk—one step at a time until strong-arming him into, of all things, auditioning for another full time gig. 

At a club.

_The_ club. 

If he drew a cold breath, sometimes he could still taste the chill of that night slithering down his throat. Feel the lingering cigarette smoke curling like a shadow, slipping through the cracks and twisting like a secret. Feel the stinging heat of skin beneath his palm. Cinctus took a deep breath, trying to focus again on his reading. 

Scrolling though the holonet, he was looking for something to watch with Sulas, but the man had a way of interjecting himself while Cinctus was trying to focus. A memory, an imagined snippet of conversation, the lingering scent of the club puffing up here and there…even when he wasn’t around he couldn’t let Cinctus rest. 

Packing up as the movie downloaded, Cinctus shook his head. He enjoyed these evenings. Too much for his own damn good. He enjoyed filling the small house with the sounds and smells of cooking, even as those words itched at his ears. _“Giving someone food is the oldest way of saying 'I love you,' did you know?”_ Well, yes, he did in fact care enough to make sure the fucker didn’t die of malnutrition. Get a fucking vegetable in him once in a while. That didn’t mean Cinctus was _in love_ with him. 

Rubbing at his temples, Cinctus was already getting a headache. He grabbed the datadrive last, slipping out to take the van. Right hand two, left hand ten, but not before a walkabout and mirror check. Play a little music.

A routine, simple but comforting, familiar steps up to a familiar door. An answer, banter, business as usual. As their meal sizzled in the background, as anticipated pressure built up and gripped at his chest, he finally asked, “Why do we do this?”

Sulas cocked an eyebrow at him, looking him up and down as the sound seemed to build, to press around him. Standing, head tilted, he questioned back, “Do what, pumpkin?”

Gripping at the spatula, Cinctus couldn’t meet his gaze. He could feel the heat stinging at his cheeks as he blushed at Sulas walking closer, closer, until his presence shadowed into his own. Cinctus tried to swallow down the lump in his throat, to pull his eyes back upward.

“You know what.”

“Think that’s a question ya gotta ask yerself, don’t’cha think?” Sulas murmured down to him, tracing one finger across the edge of his ear. Cinctus felt like he’d boil over, clenching his jaw shut tight. Green and red skin eclipsed his vision, and Cinctus reached out to fill his fists with Sulas’s clothes. He hadn’t decided yet if it was to pull him closer or to fight with him.

“Why?” he repeated, louder, giving Sulas a shake. Sulas only leaned forward, pressing a curling smile of a kiss to Cinctus.

Cinctus woke, gasping, heart pounding as he clutched at his blanket. 

“Oh…oh no…”


End file.
